If you are new to the idea of polarities, this article will give you a solid grasp of what they are and why it is important to pay attention to them. If polarities are familiar to you, this will serve to deepen your understanding and provoke new insights into how you can lead more effectively with them.

For many of us, the mere thought of holding a difficult conversation with someone important evokes fear and anxiety. We manage these uncomfortable feelings through avoidance. You know the story — If I don’t hold the conversation, my deepest fears won’t be realised, and things will somehow magically get better. Right? Wrong — as our personal history shows. We know that grievances left unaddressed drip like acid all over the relationship, corroding trust and connection. So why do we do this?

“Wake up. We have to leave now and head to the nearest beach. An out of control bushfire is burning towards us.” These chilling words from my wife Anne jolt me awake. It is 6:05 am on Tuesday, New Year’s Eve. Anne wakes our daughter Eleanor, son-in-law Tim and 6-month-old granddaughter Audrey. I take the follow up phone message: “Evacuate now.” An internet search identifies the Hanging Rock Sports Club as the only evacuation center in Batemans Bay. Moving quickly, we pack both cars. We leave Anne’s family home, our miniature groodle Milly tucked away on the back seat. It is 6:25 am. Many complex, agonizing decisions lie ahead of us.

Many leaders, and the coaches who support them, are unconsciously compelled to make sense of the world through cause-and-affect stories, limiting their ability to navigate complexity.